PULL THE OTHER ONE GIANNI

It’s got Swiss Cow Bells on

As the World Cup gets invaded with Hydration Breaks -- which absolutely no one voted for - the G7 meeting featuring the World’s Elite Nations is kicking off in of all places, Évian.

A small hamlet in the French Alps which just so happens to border of all places Switzerland. Kingdom du FIFA INC

Who scripts these things?

G7 Meetings meet FIFA Hydration Breaks

As we don’t mix politics with football -- and no Sir Rod mixing politics with football is not some new fancy cocktail -- back to these mad as a hatter Hydration Breaks

I would love to know who first text who with the novel idea of turning World Cup football matches into four quarters?

“Remember last summer’s greatest invention in football -- since the whistle was introduced back in 1878 -- that bloated as a hydrogen ballon FIFA World Club Cup?”

“Where we turned the original concept of football upside down with those short breaks in play each half… well lots extend them somehow.

However don’t just yet tell our broadcast partners. Let’s offer and sell for big bucks branding opportunities to our beloved ‘Economic Partner’ Group ads in the form of 3-minute commercial breaks.”

Genius. Give someone a FIFA Prize.

The organisation that has done more for destroying footballers, than any sliding tackle at the waist has ever done, cite ‘Player Welfare’ as reason for these Hydration Breaks. Really?

So on that basis explain why then Throw Ins are now on a countdown clock that if players take them any faster players will likely rack up speeding tickets from a State Trooper.

In terms of World Cups played in the most intense conditions and dripping heat that prize doesn’t go to the 2022 Host.

It’s Mexico1970

Such was the heat England wore shirts that resembled a Tea Bag, yes a Tea Bag. Only the English I hear you exclaim. By their technical name the shirts are referred to as AirTex. And you thought Steve Jobs and Bill Gates invented technology in the 1980’s.

Reason I know about those Legendary England Mexico1970 shirts was because in a previous life I used to sell them. Before the advent of online selling there was Mail Order Catalogues.

You can see England wearing them in videos from those classic World Games from Estadio Jalisco in Guadalajara, Mexico. None more so famous than that legendry Group Stage encounter between the then World Champs versus the nation crowned at the most fabulous Mexico1970 World Cup; Brasilia.

If this truly was about hydrating players why then do the players need to trot off the pitch… oh look here comes one eyebrow himself; Carlo Ancelotti. Has his iPad with him. Maybe we’re going to watch the gaffer’s favourite Taylor Swift song.

Meanwhile the global TV audience has gone to the washroom during the commercial break in live match coverage

Why not like in Cricket, a sport older than FIFA, have a Drinks Break. Where literally the subs stroll onto the field with a drinks trolley. Look closely Gianni, the trolley’s branded ;)

Hydration Breaks Cricket Style

BBC and ITV deserve the FIFA Fair Play Award at these World Cup Finals for turning down those soul destroying money grabbing advertising breaks.

By the way the full name of the town for this week’s G7’s meetings is Évian-Les-Bains. Bath Water en anglais.

Infantino’s let the Word Cup Baby out with the Bath Water with these Hydration Breaks.