IT’S THE WORLD CUP OF SWEARING

Potty Mouths R Us

During FOX TV’s pre-game show of Canada versus Bosnia USA94 Legend Alexi Lalas -- who built his entire Serie A career on that outrageous ginger mop and goatee ensemble – went for everyone’s favourite luvvy by referring to James Corden as a “Full Kit Wanker” on live TV.

Lalas of course is part of FOX TV’s star studded celebrity football talent pool. The Ginge was standing shoulder to shoulder at the time with Zlatan - with Tito on the panel as well. Reactions as you can imagine fitted the occasion.

By the way Full Kit Wanker’s are a sub species of football supporters who stroll around town, do their grocery shopping and even pop down the local pub dressed in the full kit of their favourite team. Even down to pulling the socks up to their knees. Goodness me.

Making the FKW obsession more concerning is these particular football peacocks stroll around in public on non-match days and can often be spotted in the off season. Some of the FKW number are so shameless they’ll even wear their football boots. Shades of John Terry in Munch circa 2012 UEFA Champions League Final is that.

It’s not known at the time of Lalas’ genius live TV intervention if Corden had a blow up UCL Trophy in his grasp. If that didn’t tickle you fancy the next up and following the final whistle in Toronto one of our own in the considerable guise of Ismaël Koné went full Foxtrot Oscar in his post-game interview.

When referring to the pep talk Koné gave his fellow #CanMNT players pre-game he told them that for all they had endured in their club seasons to forget about all those hardships in two simple words; “Fuck It.”

In his post-game interview Koné reminisced on his pep talk to hi steam mates. Even to his clever use of an Anglo-Saxon term which is older than football itself.

Proper passion has sadly lacked in Canadian soccer for way too long.

To hear it live was so utterly refreshing and eerily similar to Alistair Johnston’s F bomb on live Scottish TV after Celtic had just snatched the title from Hearts in a pulsating come from behind win on the last day of the season. Unbridled, off the leash. Just being themselves. So relatable to all of us. A connector to the people. Ismaël Koné is a fabulous footballer for that there is no doubt.

When I first caught glimpse of the young man over at Stade Saputo in his debut professional season backed in 2022 I described him on-air as a Paul Pogba washed down with N’Golo Kanté. Such was his bossing of the game on both sides of the ball. Now here we are in 2026, the strides Koné had made in his game are immense. A few knocks on battles on the way. Just make you better, more relatable.

He’s a throwback to the late 1970’s era in football where Mavericks strutted their stuff. Defined by their non-conformity. Koné displays that in bundles. A character player the likes of which Canada has not ever even come close to producing before. “The Future is Unwritten” as Clash frontman Joe Strummer told us back in the late 70’s.

With full respect to Fonzie our first global superstar on and off the pitch in the making is Ismaël. For that there can be no doubt. He has the football, the character, the personality and the mystery. All wrapped up in his frame. The full Monty. Just ask Luis Vuitton, or his pal Gucci.