FOOTBALL MEAN MACHINE BE HAALAND…
Disappointments suffered, determination willed ce soir’s winner
Standing taller on more colossal on a pitch these days is that Mount Vesuvius of a footballer; Erling Haaland
More sculptured than the Statue of Liberty which stands proudly in New York Harbour, within shouting distance of the venue for the World Cup Final on July 19th.
Don’t mess with the best,
as the best don’t like to mess with the rest
Haaland is a walking, talking, scoring phenom. Physicality, strength, and power in heaps and bundles. The ultimate face of modern-day sports science.
A lab creation so as to speak played out on the football pitch, the kitchen table – go check his diet, obsessive and repetitive eating and drinking regime. Hilly sand dunes, oceans. The fjords of Norway.
There has not ever been anyone like him previously. Or I don’t think again. I’ve been observing football worldwide since being captivated as a snotty nosed mischief maker almost exactly as long ago as that moment almost suspended in time of England’s sole World Cup win.
That’s some sample size.
Like the old… could Messi have done it on a November rainy night in Stoke mantra - which of course Little Leo could’ve. Whilst carrying an umbrella as he went I reckon.
Could though have Haaland done it on those heavy pitches of England in the 1970’s? Whilst up against teams during football’s “Take No Prisoners” era. Literally.
Then add in the referee tended to just use their whistle for the kick offs, the odd set piece and as an instrument to signify the conclusion of each half.
No added time back then. It was called injury time. Quite literally.
Don’t believe me?
Then get yourselves over to your favourite social video service. Type in “Chelsea Leeds 1970 FA Cup Final Replay. In fact here’s just a small snippet… https://www.instagram.com/reels/DXhKPdvDK0k/
Tagged the dirtiest football match ever. You will not believe your very own eyes. As didn’t the premier league officials when recently they simulated the match to today’s standards. The red card count alone was counted in double figures
Physical Agony throughout the 90 minutes
Ecstasy only gained in Injury Time
Norman ‘Bite Your Legs’ Hunter, who didn’t need to bite your legs just merely look at you in the eyes to spark unimaginable fear that led to your legs bucking at the knees.
Or ex-Leeds skipper, wee midget Billy Bremner.
Bremnner would have weaved so much of his own personal stash of Scottish football witchcraftery on Haaland the young Norweigan would have been more dizzy than Keith Richards or Ozzy Osbourne on any rare binge driven off days. What a lifestyle. Forget how many government warnings you’d get these days.
The factor that will determinate the outcome this evening in Miami isn’t the unbridled football talent gracing the pitch.
It will be the disappointments experienced by certain players. England are World Champions in that department.
Just ask the likes of Pickford, Stones, Kane, Rashford & Saka 2 straight EURO Finals, a World Cup Semi, even a Kane rare penalty miss with time running out QF versus all that French Majesty at Qatar22.
Norway absolutely has disappointments in abundance too. Most especially here, the very worst disappointments at the club level.
Just ask chief talisman and captain fantastic himself; Martin Ødegaard
If England thought of making the fatal mistake of stepping out on that Miami pitch their euphoric Azteca selves — then it truly will be the ‘Hard Rock’ of all World Cups for Ye Olde.
Haaland off back to the Norwegian Fjords?
Unfortunately for Haaland —unless a member of that growing number of experts in every field within his personal background team — has concocted a Disappointment Shake or Powder then it will be straight back to the Norwegian fjords of life for modern day football’s supreme (human) being.
Or Just Maybe…
Cheers
@NoelPButler
Comments